The pill??? Really?

So I had my doctor's appointment a few days ago and it has taken me a few days to get my thoughts together to write about it.

It was one of those take the good with the bad type visits.  It did start us on the road to figuring out why I'm not pregnant and hopefully getting me pregnant sooner rather than later.  That was good since I'm not having to wait a year before starting the process (only 9 months lol).  The doctor made a positive move to get my hubby a referral to a fertility doctor for a full semen analysis to ease any thoughts of the male factor being an issue.  The doctor also said he wanted me back in 2 weeks approximately for a CD21 blood draw to check levels of hormones and progesterone to make sure I'm within normal levels.  All of that is a great step forward to answers and even though it isn't an immediate cure it is something.

Then the doctor said something that knocked the wind out of me.  Not sure it was literally knocked out of me, but it definitely felt like it.  The pain in the stomach, the trying to catch my breath, the feeling of tears in my eyes.  He wants to put me on birth control pills for 2 months to try and figure out my cycle and get it back on a more predictable schedule I suppose.

I just am not sure I am a big fan of the start and stop method of trying to conceive.  In the back of my mind (and sometimes the front) it pops up that with a 2 month hold it will put me in the official trying for a year category.  I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be trying to bring a bundle of joy into this world for a year with no success.  I'm not the healthiest person in the world, but by no means the worst either.  It shouldn't take this much time.  Then the next thought....not only is the delay during the pill, but the delay of coming off the pill before my body is ready to carry a child.  Granted last time when I came off the pill after 5 years on it, I was pregnant in only two months.  Hopefully I can have the same kind of success rate - but then again that pregnancy (my only pregnancy) ended in a miscarriage a month after I found out I was pregnant.  So if I do get pregnant quickly after this time of the pill will it end the same way?

All I can do is wait and wonder at the moment.  I do try and stay as hopeful as possible.  Thankfully I have a wonderfully understanding hubby, great friends, and even some women who have sadly the greatest understanding of all in my online forum.