In a holding pattern...

Not a lot going on with me.

Normally, I would be counting down days to testing and going over every twinge or moment of nausea or sore muscle that is out of the ordinary (at least out of the ordinary in my mind).  This cycle is different.  this was the cycle of defeat and throwing my hands in the air.

The hubby and I were reeling from the beginning of testing when we can afford his sperm analysis and the sentence of being put on birth control for two months to supposedly get my cycle in order.  Because of all this we didn't really focus much on the TTC  this cycle and so it is a bust I'm sure.  That is okay though - for the first time in almost 10 months I relaxed during the two week wait.  We went out for Valentines and I enjoyed a flute of champagne - something I would have never done months prior because I would have just stressed over what the alcohol would do to the baby surely growing inside me (or so I hoped growing inside me).

Now we just sit and wait for my cycle to start sometime next week and start the pill.  As much as I hate the waiting, maybe it will be a positive 2 month vacation from everything.  Or I may go crazy during the first month. LOL.  Time will tell.  

So I find myself in that holding pattern...waiting to see what the next moment brings.